Thank you for the angry tone of voice you adopted through nearly the entire debate. I do not believe that American people appreciate a president who screams at them, but almost everything you said was at a high decibel level. Thank you for adopting that wheedling tone of desperation.
Thank you for interrupting Charles Gibson. For a moment there I thought it was going to come to blows. Thank you for losing your temper in such a spectacular display of rage, frustration and pure petulance.
Thank you for accusing John Kerry of forgetting Poland yet again. You seem to have forgotten that Poland has pulled out of the coalition. Speaking of forgetting things, thank you for forgetting that you're part-owner of a timber company. I doubt the American people will continue to trust a man who can't even keep track of his own possessions to attempt to control the American economy or the American budget.
Thank you for bringing up the Dred Scot decision. That made you look like such a fool, citing a 150-year-old Supreme Court decision that NOBODY supports anymore.
This country cannot endure four more years of your bumbling mismanagement, so thank you for sacrificing your power and your presidency for the good of all.
I would now like to address Sen. Kerry.
Sen. Kerry, thank you for the excellent job in the debate tonight.
Thank you for presenting evidence to back up your opinions. Mr. Bush seems to think that his saying something is reason enough to believe it. I do not agree. You once again clearly revealed yourself to be the better debater.
Thank you for addressing every questioner by his or her name. It's such a little thing, but I'm sure it made each one of them feel special. I thought it was a very nice gesture on your part, and I was particularly impressed with your ability to remember everyone's name.
Thank you for defending yourself so strongly against the "flip-flopping" accusations made against you. Anyone who still believes that attractively alliterative talking point needs to watch the Daily Show's Bush vs. Bush segment and witness the flip-flopping of their beloved Chief Executive.
Most of all, I cannot emphasize this enough, thank you for your response to the abortion question. You displayed compassion, integrity, and wisdom. When you said that you couldn't allow your personal beliefs determine federal policy, I literally jumped up and down for joy. Like you, I am a practicing Roman Catholic. Like you, I do believe that it is possible to be pro-choice without condoning or promoting abortion (although I do not consider myself to be pro-choice because I am not yet convinced that the choice should be a right women are entitled to). I cannot say that I completely agree with your position on the subject, but I was deeply moved by the eloquence with which you answered it, and the respect that you showed for the (clearly very emotional) woman who asked the question.
Mr. Kerry, you are my candidate. I support you wholly, gladly, and without reservation. I no longer belong to the "anyone but Bush" camp. I'd even strongly consider voting for you if you were running against Wesley Clark, my political hero. In fact, the eloquence, wisdom, and compassion you displayed tonight reminded me strongly of Gen. Clark. I can offer you no higher praise than that.