Mary Arline (queen_of_kithia) wrote,
Mary Arline
queen_of_kithia

What Fictional Character Does George W. Bush Most Remind You Of?

I imagine that the Man would want us to say someone like Superman or someone...honorable, or at least likable. But for me the answer is as simple as it is obscure: Nathan Thurm.

Allow me to explain: Nathan Thurm is a character popularized by Martin Short, a Canadian comedian who gained popularity in America as a cast member of the late-night variety show Saturday Night Live. The character of Nathan Thurm is a lawyer who, no matter what accusations anyone makes, denies them and then, when presented with evidence responds, "I knew that. You think I don't know that? Is it me or is it him? It's him, isn't it?" Here is an excerpt of a transcript of an SNL sketch featuring Nathan Turm from this site:

Mike Wallace Voiceover: But despite repeated attempts to contact Mr. Lee over a 12-hour period, we coiuld get no response. But we were able to reach his attorney, Mr. Nathan Thurm.

[ close-up of nervous Nathan Thurm smoking from a cigarette as Mike Wallacer interrogates him ]

Mike Wallace: Mr. Thurm, let's be honest. We've seen the people working for pennies, making defective novelty items, which, at best, don't work, and don't provide hours of family fun; at worst, creating serious injuries.

Nathan Thurm: [ pause ] So, what are you saying?

Mike Wallace: I'm saying that your boss, Mr. Lee, is, in effect, the Mr. Big of the pirate novelty business.

Nathan Thurm: No, he isn't! You're just saying that to get higher ratings on your TV show!

Mike Wallace: No, I wish I were, but.. we saw your people making pirate Mickman schnozzes.

Nathan Thurm: [ shakes head ] I don't know what you're talking about. [ smiles ] It's funnythat you would say that! They don't make schnozzes. They make semiconductors for a very reputable computer company. What's wrong with that? Is there something wrong with that? Why, why, why is that something wrong to do? I don't understnad that. Why are you pointing the finger at other people all the time? Why don't you point the finger at yourself? Do a little more reading, maybe? Some time in court - maybe that would be effective for you!

Mike Wallace: Pardon me for saying this, but you seem defensive.

Nathan Thurm: I'm not being defensive! You're the one who's being defensive! Why is always the other person who's being defensive? Have you ever asked yourself that? Why don't you ask yourself that?

Mike Wallace: [ holds out paper ] This is an affadavit..

Nathan Thurm: I know that!

Mike Wallace: Well, let me finish. This is an affidavit from a woman who has severe nerve damage, on her upper thigh, from sitting on one of your defective whoopie cushions. Here, read it.

Nathan Thurm: You read it!

Mike Wallace: Well, I have read it.

Nathan Thurm: So, why do I have to read it?

Mike Wallace: Well, it does pertain to your company.

Nathan Thurm: I know that! Why wouldn't I know that? It's my company, I'm quite aware of that! [ looks at the camera ] Is it me? It's him, right?


And this is how George W. Bush runs his administration. He and his whole cabinet are following the Thurm method of administration. Whenever anyone discovers that they lied about something, or tried to cover something up, or just plain made a mistake, they deny it and talk around in circles. Perhaps they all wear bracelets inscribed "WWNTD?" which stands for "What Would Nathan Thurm Do?"

Before the war, Colin Powell testifies before the UN pointing out the exact locations of Saddam Hussein's storepiles of weapons of mass destruction. After the invasion of Iraq we can't find them...because it turns out THEY DON'T EXIST!

President Bush lands on an aircraft carrier saying the war in Iraq was over, that the mission had been accomplished. Called on it a year later, he said that we had accomplished A mission.

Condoleezza Rice testifies before the 9/11 commission and was asked if the administration had any indication that bin Laden planned to attack within the United States. Specifically she was asked about a certain Presidential Daily Briefing of August 6, 2001. She said it was "historical information." When asked if she recalled the title of the document she said, and this is an exact quote, "I believe the title was, 'Bin Laden Determined to Attack Within the United States.'" Gee, why might give anyone a hint of bin Laden's determination to attack within the United States?

The 9/11 commission has determined that there was no connection between bin Laden and Iraq, after Bush said we couldn't differentiate between al-Qaida and Saddam Hussein. Now he tries to weasel out of that, saying all he said was there were CONNECTIONS between them. In the words of an annoying commercial, "IT'S THE SAME THING!"

One technique that Bush and his lackeys fall back on is to say that they "don't recall" things happening. This is genius, because there's no way to prove whether or not someone does or does not remember something. Donald Rumsfeld took it one step farther, testifying before the 9/11 commission he said many things that he apparently doesn't RECALL but someone TOLD HIM they happened. "I'm told that..." Does he have ANY idea how idiotic he sounds?

When Martin Short does it, it's funny. When our elected officials and their advisors do it it's embarrassing and it's insulting. Exactly how dumb do they think we are? Do they think we can't tell when we're being lied to, especially when they do it so badly? Do they honestly believe that we can forgive this gross breach in trust and in good faith? Do they not realize that they derive their power from the people?

Yes, that's right. Although I wouldn't put it past Bush to try to manipulate the law to allow him to remain in office long after his term is over, he derives his power from US, the American people. He is not our boss, we are his bosses, and if I had an employee that told me blatant lies to my face, even when he knew that even a child could see he wasn't telling the truth; if I had an employee who behaved like Nathan Thurm, I would not hesitate to fire him. Our president has done a lousy job, he has gotten many of our loved ones injured and killed to serve his own ambition and his own pride, and, when his dark deeds have been dragged out into the garish light of day, he has refused to own up and has told us transparent lies and apparently he expects us to believe them. Well, I have a bit more faith in the American people than that. I don't think the American people appreciate being made fools of. I believe that it is our duty as American citizens to fire this dangerous employee. It is our duty to show our President that we will not tolerate being made into fools any longer. The Nathan Thurm method of rule is not effective...and is not acceptable.
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