It was one brief shining moment today, and it wasn't as cool as it could have been because the computers at work don't list the date in mm/dd/yy format, but I still enjoyed it.

Context: Last week President Obama (ooh, it still makes me feel all tingly when I say that) gave a speech to Congress regarding the state of the Union, but it wasn't officially a State of the Union speech because apparently you have to have been president for at least a year to give one of those. Regardless of the semantic distinctions, they had a prominent member of the opposing party give a response, as is customary. They picked Bobby Jindal, the governor of Louisiana where, as you might recall, they had a big ol' hurricane a few years ago, a harrowing experience that taught Bobby Jindal that spending money on natural disaster preparedness was a bad idea. This, for some reason, caused Jon Stewart to take a sausage link wrapped in a pancake and dip it into bacon-flavored mayonnaise and attempt to eat it. None of this made any sense.



Governor Jindal, allow me to explain to you why we need to monitor volcanoes:

Perhaps you've heard of Yellowstone National Park, in the northwest corner of Wyoming. What you might not be aware of is that Yellowstone Park--nearly all 2.2 million acres of it--is a gigantic volcano caldera. A caldera, in case you are not aware, is the hole in a volcano where the lava comes out. Let me reiterate, because this is very important: the caldera is not IN Yellowstone Park; Yellowstone Park IS the caldera--that's how big it is. To put it another way, Yellowstone Park is a volcano, but not just any volcano; they call it a supervolcano. And it's still active. In point of fact, it's the largest active volcano in the world. They figure that it erupts every 600,000 years or so, and the last time it erupted was 630,000 years ago.

So basically, our great nation is sitting atop a huge ticking time bomb, which could theoretically go off at any time. If, God forbid, it does so during our lifetimes it won't just be a national emergency, it will be a worldwide emergency. As bad as Hurricane Katrina was--and I in no way mean to minimize the devastation and suffering that it caused--if, God forbid, Yellowstone were to blow during our lifetimes it would make Hurricane Katrina look like a refreshing April shower.

Now, to be fair, I can kind of see an argument against monitoring it; if, God forbid, it were to blow, it would be a catastrophe unlike anything the homo sapient race has ever experienced, and how do you possibly prepare for something like that? And if we can't prepare for it, maybe we're better off not knowing. On the other hand, if there IS something that we can do to prepare for it, we're probably better off doing it. And part of preparing, if any preparation is possible, is monitoring the situation so we have an idea of when our preparations will have to be put into action, just as meteorologists monitor hurricanes to try to predict where and when and with how much force they are going to hit. Of course, that doesn't always mean that they predict correctly, and it doesn't always mean that people are prepared for every contingency, but the knowledge that comes of monitoring the situation is a vital part of the preparation process.

Bottom line, Governor Jindal; if, God forbid, Yellowstone blows within our lifetimes, it probably won't make much difference to me, nor to most of us who live in the western and midwestern states, whether or not the government spent money on trying to prepare because, if we're lucky, we'll be killed instantly. Make no mistake about it; those killed instantly would be the lucky ones. But those of you in the southern and eastern states might be unfortunate enough to survive long enough to see the aftermath, and if you do survive, you just might be grateful that the federal government took the time and spent the money to monitor the situation and prepare for it. Or, if you and your Republican cohorts succeed in bankrupting the effort to monitor the Yellowstone situation, you might just live to regret it.

And a happy Mardi Gras to you, sir.

Incidentally, the source I have cited in this little essay is A Short History of Nearly Everything by Bill Bryson, published by Broadway Books, copyright 2003. It's a very well-researched and accessibly written book, an excellent read if you want to have the ever-loving crap scared out of you.

It's now ten years since Roberto Benigni won the Best Foreign Language Oscar and Best Actor Oscar for Life Is Beautiful, one of my favorite movies ever. It still maintains an IMDb rating of 8.4, and is ranked number 85 of its Top 250. And yet, I'm constantly dismayed by the resentment that people, particularly film critics, harbor toward that movie and toward Benigni, particularly for the best actor Oscar. Now, to be fair, I've never seen any of the other performances that were nominated for best actor that year (nor, unsurprisingly, the other foreign language film nominees) so I'm not prepared to make a value judgment, but people seem to regard that win particularly as a joke at best and an outrage at worst.

So I would just like to take a moment to get down on my knees and profess my undying love for Roberto Benigni and Life Is Beautiful. ( Read more... )

"Maria" from West Side Story:

"Obama, my president's name is Obama.
And suddenly that [...] will never be the same to me..."

Now, you could just use "name" in that space that I left as it is in the original song, but I'm trying to think of a one-syllable word that can refer to the office of the presidency, and I'm drawing a blank. Any ideas?

My, what a grandiose post title! I'd like to say something really profound to match it, on this the eve of Barack Obama's inauguration, on this the last night of George W. Bush's presidency EVER!

All I can think to say, however, is that I think it's tremendously fitting that Barack Obama's inauguration is coming on the heels of Martin Luther King, Jr. Day. You know, I'm sure I knew at some point that Dr. King was only 39 years old when he was killed, but it's only at this moment that I fully realize how young he was, how much he accomplished in such a short span of time, and how much more he could have accomplished had he lived. Perhaps he could have been president himself, although that seems unlikely because, even putting aside the whole race issue, he was an Idealist and according to David Keirsey, who wrote a book analyzing the temperaments of all the presidents, there has never been an Idealist president, and he briefly explains why he thinks there probably will never be one in this excerpt. He and his other temperament analysts conclude that Barack Obama is a Rational, and I'm sure that they're right because as far as I can tell he does seem to have the strategic intellect, but he also talks a lot about idealism and he seems to share some values with us Idealists, like altruism and authenticity. In fact, the more I think about it, the more perfect he seems for the presidency in the current times: visionary enough to see the potential for a better future and pragmatic enough to conceive and actually implement plans to achieve it.

Over the course of the last election I've had difficulty articulating why Barack Obama appeals to me so, because so much of it are things that I've picked up intuitively, which are very hard to put into words, especially if you're trying to make an argument to persuade those who are skeptical, if not outright hostile, to your viewpoint. But I think now I can at least express my intuitive knowledge, even though it will still necessarily be in very abstract terms. First of all, putting aside for the moment all question of politics and ideology and believe, I get a sense from Barack Obama that I haven't gotten from the last two presidents and indeed get from very few politicians in general, which is that Obama is motivated by a genuine desire to help people and improve the country, whereas with most politicians in general and particularly with counting-down-the-hours-still-President Bush and Bill Clinton, the sense that I got was that their first priority was to do whatever they thought was going to benefit them, and only after that concern themselves with whether or not it was the best thing to do for the country. I get that sense from both Bill and Hillary Clinton, by the way, and I believe that that's the main reason that their marriage survives; whether their attachment is purely pragmatic at this point or whether there's some emotional attachment I couldn't say, and it's really none of my business, but regardless of what they feel, they need each other in order to survive politically. Anyway, the point I was trying to make it that, even if I don't agree with Barack Obama on some things, I trust him to do whatever he sincerely believes is best for the country. Which brings me to my second and slightly less abstract point: even when I disagree with Barack Obama about certain issues or what have you, I can understand why he takes the position that he does. There's an internal logic to his value system; therefore I am able to respectfully disagree. Whereas with counting-down-the-hours-still-President Bush it's exactly the opposite: even when I agree with him, his reasoning makes no sense; even when it seems to make sense, it makes no sense within the larger context of his ideology.

Anyway, I would really love to watch the inauguration tomorrow, but unfortunately I have to work, so I'll only be able to watch a little bit of it over my lunch break (and that only if they have the TV tuned to the right channel, but most of the networks will be covering it so chances are pretty good that it will be on). ( In which I am a forgetful neo-Luddite and digress about figure skating )

I should be working on my seminar paper, but I'm waiting for some materials to become available through Interlibrary Loan. In the meantime, since I know everyone enjoys polls and memes and things, I would like to invite you all to participate in a little experiment:

Poll #1298615 Personality Type and Temperament
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 9

First, please take the Skeletus Personality Test. When you get your results, please enter the four-letter code for your personality type.

Second, please find the description of your personality type among these portraits. How accurate do you find the description of your personality type as it applies to you?

David Keirsey took Myers-Briggs' 16 personality types and organized them into 4 temperaments. According to Keirsey, if your type includes both Sensing and Judging (S/J) preferences, you are a Guardian; if your type includes both Sensing and Perceiving (S/P) preferences, you are an Artisan; if your type includes both iNtuition and Feeling (N/F) preferences, you are an Idealist; if your type includes both iNtuitive and Thinking (N/T) preferences, you are a Rational. Based on your SPT results, please choose your temperament from Keirsey's four categories.

For some reason, Keirsey's website won't let me link directly to each temperament description, so please find your temperament among his overview and read its description: how accurate do you find the description of your temperament as it applies to you?

I said this was an experiment; my hypothesis is that, while Guardians are the most plentiful temperament according to Keirsey, that they are going to be the least represented group among my friends and/or people who read my LiveJournal.

...and I mean that in more ways than one.

I bought some canvas bags from the grocery store so that I could reuse them when I go grocery shopping, and solve the whole paper/plastic dilemma. Except that, predictably, I always forget to bring the bags with me. I've only remembered them once.

For Halloween I decided to embrace my true nature and dress up as the Incredible Hulk. Now, I suppose that I could just buy or rent an Incredible Hulk costume, but for me, half the fun of dressing up for Halloween is creatively putting a costume together. I happened to have a green turtleneck and green tights, which is half the battle right there. So I've been looking for other green accessories to complete the ensemble; I found green gloves and green shoes. Unfortunately I'm having a really hard time finding green socks, or more accurately, I'm having a hard time finding socks that are completely green. I've also been having a hard time finding green make-up, which I didn't think would be that difficult. The problem is that most of the time I can only find a little dab of green in a larger make-up kit, and I don't really want to buy the whole kit. Today I did find a tube of green make-up packaged all by its lonesome, and I bought it, but I don't think it's going to work, because I tried some on as a test, and it's too yellow, especially when it dries. To be candid, it looks like poop. And I really don't want to be walking around looking like I've smeared poop all over my face. So I might have to go and buy the whole kit anyway. The Halloween store should have tester tubes for its make-up, but I suppose then it probably wouldn't sell as much.

Also, one of the consequences of putting together a costume like this is that all my green stuff is in different shades. So I'll be kind of a Motley Hulk.

Arr, a better question be, why do I not drink?

Here it be Talk Like a Pirate Day and me with nothing to say.

Arr, this may be an opportune moment to mention the Rifftrax of the first Pirates of the Caribbean movie, which I have not yet purchased because me fortunes are still low. It seemed to me kind of a strange choice for a Rifftrax; sure, there be plenty of silly stuff to make jokes about in it, but it's also a movie which doesn't take itself terribly seriously, it's comparatively well done (though big-budget blockbusters with splashy special effects do tend to provide their own type of riffing fodder), and it's not only funny in it's own right but already has two really funny commentary tracks associated with it on the DVD.

I'm not sayin' it was a bad choice, ye understand; I'm just sayin' that a more obvious choice would have been Dead Man's Chest, and a middlingly more obvious choice would have been At World's End. Ah well, all the more reason for me to get me iRiff of Dead Man's Chest goin' so I could enter it in the contest in October. Arr, but I don't think that's going to happen, what with grad school and all. Scurvy grad school. If only I could make me fortune making iRiffs, but unfortunately I be not that funny.

Well, I guess that be all I have to say fer now. I'm going to plunder me some Doritos now (that be the generic store brand of Doritos; they were on sale). Yo-ho-ho, me buckos!

Or random thoughts of an Olympic nature. Whichever.

Yesterday I was watching some equestrian event--team jumping, I think. The course (or whatever they call it) was beautiful; it looked like a Zen garden or something. There was this guy (from Canada, I think) who was 61 years old and participating in his ninth Olympics. Wow. Though probably not on the same horse, I would imagine. I wonder, for the equestrian events, do they give medals to the horses too? It seems like maybe they should.

And then I watched some fencing, and that was ...bizarre and incomprehensible. They wore helmets that lit up, I think when they got hit is when the helmets lit up, so they must have been wearing super-senso-suits or something. It looked like Laser Tag, which is weird.

( Mostly gymnastics )

I didn't stay up last night to watch track and field because I'm not very interested in it, but I did watch the women's 100 meter finals, and it was really quite similar to the men's 100 meter finals, with a 21-year-old Jamaican running away with the gold and a world record. The interesting thing about it is that the Jamaicans swept the medals with the other two tying for silver, so I wonder how that works. Do they both stand on the second-place podium and leave the third-place one empty? I didn't wait to see if they would show the medal ceremony, and I can't find it online yet.

Today they did another interview with Michael Phelps, about a half hour's worth. First they talked to him and his coach and one of the swimming commentators, and they talked in retrospect about each of the 8 races, and that was very interesting. But then in the second half they interviewed Michael and his mother, Debbie, and that was very poignant. Two things about it were particularly moving to me. First, I was so touched by the admiration with which he described his mother's passion and dedication to her work as a school principal; he sounded as proud of her as she was of him. And then they talked about when Michael was a kid and hadn't come into his own as a world-class athlete yet, and other kids used to bully him. That really struck a chord with me, because I can relate to that.

( A digression )

But back to Michael Phelps; he said of having been bullied that it made him stronger, and that's how I feel too. And it just goes to show why you should never bully people; not only because it's cruel and hurtful, but because you never know who those people are going to turn out to be. They might become the winningest Olympian ever, or your surgeon, or a police officer, or a mechanic, or your kids' teacher; in other words, someday you might need them (or you might just want to be around them), and so not only are you hurting others by bullying them, you're potentially hurting yourself.

I really like Michael Phelps' attitude toward people saying negative things about him, which they still do. He uses it as motivation to help him do better and prove them wrong. I wish I had that kind of self-discipline, because my tendency would be to dwell on it in a negative way so that it would distract me from what I was doing and become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Hmmm...I wonder if that is purely an attitudinal thing, i.e. something I could change about myself if I just put my mind to it.

Of course, I'm referring to Michael Phelps--or, as I like to call him, Michael Longtorso--winning 8 gold medals in one Olympics.

( Of swimming and gymnastics )

I mentioned yesterday that a state (no matter how otherwise wonderful it may be) that annually whores itself out to hundreds of thousands of bikers deserves to be ridiculed at least somewhat. Well, Jon Stewart took up the clarion call, although his purpose was more to make fun of John McCain whoring out himself (and his wife, as it turns out) to a throng of veteran bikers (by which I mean bikers who are military veterans, although I'm sure that most of them also have years of experience as bikers). The good stuff doesn't start until about 5 minutes into the video:



Fifty thousand Harleys, McCain? Can you not count, or are you visiting us from the year 1992? Actually, I haven't heard the numbers, so for all I know the attendance is down that far. But the roar of 500--or even 100, or 50, or 10--is just as annoying as the roar of 50,000.

People get involved in motorcycle rallies for the same reason that (different) people get involved in renaissance festivals. It's performative; it's a desire to live a fantasy life for however long (and then it's a chance for various merchants to capitalize on that desire). People make fun of people who get involved in renaissance festivals, and understandably so, but at least renaissance festivals usually take place in secluded areas and don't sprawl all over half the damn state and make everyone cater to their whims. Although in fairness to the bikers, at least Harleys don't poop, like horses do.

At any rate, it's peaceful here in Sioux Falls this week, although yesterday I saw a big group of bikes and I said, "Are you guys lost? Were you looking for the interstate?"

Am I right, South Dakota State Chamber of Commerce and South Dakota Tourism Board? Oh, come on, of course I am!

I posted this in a hurry this morning because I had to get to work, but when Stephen Colbert started insulting every town named Canton in the country, I was wondering if he would get around to Canton, SD which is roughly 15 to 20 miles south of where I live. And sure enough!



I can't believe I'm saying this, but I can't wait to get a look at today's Argus Leader; should be amusing. I forgot that the Colbert Report aired at 10:30 p.m. local time last night, which was probably well past the Argus' deadline; silly me. But anyway, tomorrow's Argus should be good.

I do hope that we South Dakotans will be able to take this in the spirit in which it was intended and be better sports about it than the Kansas Cantonites, but then again, I know South Dakotans and we do have an unfortunate tendency to get worked up over relatively minor things (or to get worked up about major things but then come down on the wrong side). Anyway, a state that annually whores itself out to hundreds of thousands of bikers deserves to be ridiculed at least a little bit.

To be fair, and lest I be accused of turning against my own, I've been to Canton and it is a lovely little town, as small South Dakota farm towns go, although probably the loveliest thing about it is its proximity to Sioux Falls.

(That reminds me, I really ought to have a South-Dakota-specific icon. Or maybe two; one for West River and one for East River.)

Not really, but after a comparatively easy morning I got off work early, and having the whole afternoon to myself I decided to enjoy it. It was beeeeeeautiful weather today. I took a lunch and went to Falls Park, and it was so lovely. With all the recent rain the Big Sioux River is running kind of high, so the eponymous falls were particularly spectacular. There were a lot of people there, more than I expected on a Tuesday, but I suppose a lot of them were tourists. So that was a little uncomfortable, and for that reason I didn't go up into the observation tower, which is what I usually go to Falls Park for because I need some elevation, but I guess I got enough elevation on my vacation to last me for a little while yet.

Then I went to the zoo, because they just opened a new Asian Cat exhibit, which I hadn't seen yet. It was kind of disappointing, though, because it wasn't that different from the old exhibit. They did have a new viewing area, but most of the changes seemed to be related to the decor; it seemed somewhat superficial, but maybe the actual cat habitats are improved, and that's the important thing. They do have a new cat on display there called Pallas' Cat (named for a naturalist whose last name was Pallas, not Pallas Athena). They're kind of interesting because they're gray cats about the size of a house cat, but they have flattened ears and round pupils, and extra long hair on their bellies to keep them warm in the snow. They were cute.

But the best part of the zoo was when I went to see the gibbons and I noticed that one of them was nursing a little baby. I don't know how old the baby was, but my guess would be only a couple of months. Then she groomed the baby a little bit, then she took him outside (I couldn't tell for sure, but I think the baby's male), and he held onto her leg while she was swinging around. It was amazing. To the best of my knowledge, I've never seen a zoo animal take care of a baby before; it seems like the babies always have to go to the nursery and have human care. It was so cool.

And then I picked up the copy of The Mist that was on hold for me at the library, so I FIIIIIINALLY got to see it. I have to say, this was not my favorite Frank Darabont movie. Don't get me wrong; it was good, and it was as well-made as his other films, but it was... I guess I would say it was a tonal departure. ( Cut for Spoilers )


Bottom line on The Mist: I didn't really enjoy it much more than Beowulf after all, so I don't feel so disappointed that I didn't see it in the theater anymore. But even though I didn't find it very enjoyable, I commend Mr. Darabont for daring to do something different and make this kind of tonal departure, to grow as a filmmaker and invite audiences to grow and develop and shift their paradigms as well, which can be a very risky endeavor. Of course, the next logical step from here is for Mr. Darabont to start adapting the Dark Tower series for the screen. Hey, they've got the poster all ready to go.

By the way, my friend Julie gave me the novel Adverbs by Daniel Handler as a birthday present, and I started reading it today during my downtime at work. It's the first book by Daniel Handler I've read that wasn't a Lemony Snicket book, and I love it. How do I love it? Madly, wholeheartedly, truly, unabashedly, utterly, helplessly, shamelessly, redundantly, deliberately, and redundantly. But not unrestrainedly, since peals of raucous laughter are frowned upon in the workplace, with good reason.

Do not read CNN headlines without glasses on.

I just read a headline that said: "2008 could set record for tornado deaths," but what I saw was "2008 could set record for tomato deaths".

And my first thought on that misreading was, "Does that refer to tomatoes dying, or to people dying in some sort of tomato-related incident?"

There's the news that Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows will be split into two movies, which all I can say to that is that they had better be good, darnit. I personally didn't think this was strictly necessary, since Order of the Phoenix is, in my opinion, the best movie in the series so far, and it's the shortest movie based on the longest book. In the article referenced, young Mr. Radcliffe says of the book, "It's one driving, pounding story from the word go." I'm forced to disagree with him; there is a certain amount of drive to it because it's the last in the series and everything has been building to it, but I don't find it to be "pounding" throughout; rather, I found that a lot of the time it really moved breathtakingly slowly, with Harry, Ron, and Hermione just sitting around and not really doing anything but brooding. As a reader, that was very frustrating, and I think that, in the hands of a competent screenwriter, a lot of that stuff could be taken out or watered-down or condensed, but on the other hand, since it is Kloves again, maybe it's just as well that it'll be two movies. I do wonder how they're going to cope with some of the characters and/or plot points that have been glossed over in the previous movies that will suddenly be important. ( Deathly Hallows spoilers )

Anyway, also of interest on the IMDb hit list today is The Ten Moviegoing Commandments, which is funny because it's true, although I wish the writer didn't treat a cell phone's ringing in the theater as something unavoidable. Gee, if only the little buggers had OFF SWITCHES or ways to turn off the ringing so that wouldn't be a problem! But then, I'm curmudgeonly on the subject of cell phones anyway.

And then there's this insanely awesome photomosaic Star Wars parody of Da Vinci's Last Supper. Seriously, you've gotta see this; it's incredible.

And last but not least, there was a trailer for The Incredible Hulk, which I will discuss in more detail in a separate entry.

I just saw a banner ad for "Macbeth: the Graphic Novel". It was advertised as "Coming Soon"

"Soon"? Dude, it already came 40-50 some years ago, back when they were still called "comic books". Or in this case, as my mom calls them, "classic funny-books". She had other ones besides "Macbeth"..."Moby Dick" is the only other one I ever remember her mentioning, but I believe there were more. The other ones have apparently been lost, but she still has "Macbeth"; the cover art has Macbeth gazing at the dagger he sees before him. It always freaked me out, if you want to know the truth; the look of horror on his face is upsetting.

Well, I'm sure "Macbeth: the Graphic Novel" will be new and cool, and as always I'm all for the democratization of art, but that was just really weird to see. Also I suppose someone could explain to me the difference between a comic book and a graphic novel, and why the former is so much cooler and better than the latter.

So there's this weird, mad-libby thing that lets you generate your own Oscar acceptance speech.

Here is mine:

( Read more... )

Oh, and speaking of Oscars humor, I just thought of this Kids in the Hall sketch. "You thanked Hitler!"

I think I might be spending too much time on the internet because I saw on a box of granola bars that it had 0 mg of cholesterol, but I read it as "OMG Cholesterol!"

In my defense, the 0 and the mg were really close together.

Today I went downtown and looked at SculptureWalk, and a lucky thing I did because it only runs from May to September, so they'll be taking them down soon. (Actually, I think I misunderstood that; if I'm now understanding correctly, the sculptures stay up for a whole year but you can only vote for them from May to September. But I wanted to vote for one, so still lucky for me I went downtown today.) Today was the first time since...well, must have been late April-early May that I went downtown for the sole purpose of walking around because at the time they were still in the process of putting them up, so there were a few sculptures and a lot of bare pedestals around. I have been downtown between then and now, of course, but I've always been driving, and of course you can see (most of) the sculptures from the road, but it's called SculptureWALK so they're mostly facing the sidewalk. And some of them are kind of small and behind trees. Also, in my opinion they put some of the lamest ones on the most prominent street corners. But that's okay, because then it's all the more reason to actually walk around and look at them.

Here are some pictures of all the sculptures. They encourage people to vote for their favorites. It was a really, really hard choice, but eventually I chose this one, although that picture doesn't do it justice. I wish I had a camera so I could have taken pictures of my own.

I really, really love Sioux Falls, have I mentioned that? It's just urban enough to be interesting and exciting, but not so much as to be frightening.