Mary Arline (queen_of_kithia) wrote,
Mary Arline

Afternoon epiphany

One thing you should know about me if you haven't figured it out already: I'm not good at pigeonholing my emotions. If something upsets me in some way, it can consume all my waking thoughts for hours and sometimes days on end. Sometimes I am even kept awake at night by the most trivial, silly, unimportant things. Sometimes writing about it helps, but sometimes it doesn't because then I start obsessively checking to see if anyone has responded--which is why, sometimes when I feel that I've written something potentially volatile, I disable the comments.

So anyway, I've been thinking all day about that desiccated horse carcass that I was beating up on this morning (although, considering the subject matter, that may not be the best idiom) and I finally figured out the way to make the hurting stop, and it was so obvious that I felt a little silly that it had taken me so long.

The reason this is still bothering me after all these years is that I haven't forgiven any of those folks. I haven't forgiven Paul Haggis et. al. for making Crash and I haven't forgiven AMPAS for favoring it over my beloved Brokeback Mountain. If I can forgive them, then it won't hurt anymore. So I'm working on that now.
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