Mary Arline (queen_of_kithia) wrote,
Mary Arline

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That's why the Park Service is a tramp

By pure happenstance, I happened to turn on my TV at 8:00 last night and discovered that The Bachelor was in South Dakota. Though I have taken a principled stance against watching The Bachelor/Bachelorette, on the grounds that I don't think dating/mating should be turned into a spectator sport, I made an exception and watched last night, because there is nothing that we South Dakotans like better than to see our state on television.

They started out in Deadwood, which was actually a very appropriate choice because The Bachelor is all about pretentious posturing and self-delusion, and Deadwood may well be the pretentious posturing/self-delusion capital of the world. It tries to convince its visitors (as well as itself) that is is all rough and rugged and old-timey, while simultaneously trying to appear sleek and modern and glamorous. As a result, it just comes off seeming kitschy and sad.

Then the eponymous Bachelor and two members of his harem were whisked away via helicopter to the Badlands, which is also an interesting choice because the Badlands are pretty much the opposite of Deadwood. In such a stark and unforgiving environment, the superficial and superfluous are quickly swept away by wind and water, and thus the pretentious and the kitschy doesn't survive out there very long.

Of course, the producers probably don't understand that because they set up a four-poster/canopy-type bed out among the buttes that remarkably didn't get blown away in the wind, although it would have only been a matter of time. I have to wonder how long the bed was sitting there before the helicopter touched down. I hope not too long, because otherwise it might have become a nesting place for critters which, nevertheless, would have been kind of funny. At least someone apparently told the participants to wear sensible shoes. But it was pretty funny to watch them take their little blanket and go, "Lalala, let's sit here on the butte without checking to see if there might be potential rattlesnake dens nearby."

Then, at the end, the eponymous Bachelor left his two paramours apparently stranded in the Badlands when he departed in the helicopter. What, are we supposed to believe that they walked back to the hotel in Deadwood, or to the airport in Rapid City?

Apparently they recorded the show in late autumn,[*](They said on the news that it was "three months ago," which would have been November, but based on the amount of leaves still on the trees in Deadwood, the color thereof, and the fact that everyone seemed comfortable in a light jacket at most, I think it must have been earlier than that: October at the latest.) and I can't believe how lucky they were that the weather cooperated with them. Imagine if they'd had to have their little Badlands date in the snow. That would have been hilarious.

However, whatever I think about the show, I do have to give kudos to the crew because they really did justice to the beauty of South Dakota.
Tags: black hills, idiocy, television
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